Becoming the Leader You Want to Be

MODULE 1

Leadership Skill Builder · Grades 9–12

You don’t need a title to start growing as a leader. Learn to recognize meaningful leadership experiences, define the leader you want to become, and choose opportunities that help you develop.

In this module, you’ll learn to:

  • Evaluate leadership opportunities by what you’ll do and learn.

  • Turn leadership values into specific actions.

  • Create a practical plan for your growth.

Two Students, Two Leadership Experiences

Alex and Jordan are both juniors at the same high school.

Alex is vice president of a large student organization. Alex attends officer meetings, helps announce upcoming events, and occasionally assists the president. Most decisions are made by the president and faculty advisor.

Jordan doesn’t hold an officer position. But Jordan noticed that new members rarely participated in club activities. Jordan proposed a new volunteer program, recruited eight students, coordinated their work, and helped two younger members learn how to lead activities themselves.

Who has developed more as a leader?

Before reading on, consider: What has each student had the opportunity to practice?

THE CHALLENGE

1. Look Beyond Leadership Titles

A title describes a position. It doesn’t necessarily describe what someone does. Two students can hold the same position and have very different experiences.

Consider two club presidents:

President A

  • Attends meetings and makes announcements.

  • Relies on the advisor to make decisions.

  • Performs most tasks personally.

  • Focuses on completing the annual event.

President B

  • Establishes goals and leads planning.

  • Makes decisions with appropriate advisor guidance.

  • Delegates responsibilities and develops members.

  • Evaluates results and improves the event for next year.

Both students hold the same title, but they’re practicing different skills.

Formal positions can create valuable opportunities. The key is to look beyond the title and ask:

  • What responsibilities do I actually have?

  • What decisions do I get to make?

  • What challenges do I have to work through?

  • What am I learning that I couldn’t do before?

LEARN THE TECHNIQUES

Practical rule

Evaluate leadership opportunities by the responsibilities and learning they offer—not just by the title attached to them.

2. Decide What Kind of Leader You Want to Be

Leadership isn’t only about completing tasks. It’s also about how you work with people and the standards you hold yourself to.

Think about the qualities you admire in leaders. Perhaps you value someone who follows through, listens carefully, includes others, stays calm, takes responsibility, or helps people succeed.

To make those aspirations useful, translate them into actions.

From Values to Actions

  • Be inclusive. Invite newer members to contribute ideas before major decisions.

  • Be dependable. Complete commitments on time and communicate early when something changes.

  • Be fair. Consider different perspectives before deciding.

  • Develop others. Give another student an opportunity to learn a skill and provide support.

Make It Specific.

Instead of “I want to be more inclusive,” try: “At our next club meeting, I’ll ask newer members for their ideas before the officers decide what activities to organize.”

Practical rule

Define the leader you want to become through behaviors you can practice, not just qualities you admire.

3. Recognize the Experiences That Develop Leadership

Leadership develops through experience. You learn to run meetings by helping plan and lead them. You learn to make decisions by weighing alternatives and taking responsibility for the results.

You can gain these experiences with or without a formal leadership position.

Eight Ways to Practice Leadership

  1. Meetings. Prepare an agenda, guide a discussion, reach decisions, and follow up.

  2. Projects and events. Turn an idea into a plan, coordinate the work, and evaluate results.

  3. Coordinating a team. Divide responsibilities, check progress, and address missed commitments.

  4. Money and resources. Work within a budget and make choices about limited resources.

  5. Representing others. Gather different perspectives and communicate them accurately.

  6. Goals and priorities. Help decide what a group should accomplish and what matters most.

  7. Problems and disagreements. Navigate difficult situations, resolve disagreements, and adjust plans.

  8. Developing other students. Teach skills, provide feedback, and help others prepare for greater responsibility.

You don’t need to have done all eight. The purpose isn’t to collect experiences like badges. It’s to recognize where you’ve practiced leadership—and where you’d like to grow.

Practical rule

Look for opportunities to practice leadership through meaningful responsibilities—with or without a formal title.

4. Choose Opportunities That Stretch You

Imagine you’re deciding between two opportunities for next year.

Opportunity A
Become vice president of a large school club. The role has a recognizable title, but most responsibilities involve attending meetings and assisting the president.

Opportunity B
Lead a small service project. You would have no formal officer title, but you’d develop a plan, recruit volunteers, coordinate responsibilities, manage a modest budget, and evaluate the results.

Which opportunity is better?

That depends on what you want to learn.

If you’ve never managed a project, Opportunity B might offer greater development. If Opportunity A includes new responsibilities—or a chance to help shape the organization’s direction—it could also be valuable.

Instead of asking which opportunity sounds most impressive, evaluate what each will teach you.

The Opportunity Test

Before committing to a role or project, ask:

  • Responsibility. What will I actually be accountable for?

  • Decision-making. What choices will I be able to make?

  • Challenge. What will require me to learn something new?

  • Contribution. Who will benefit from my work?

  • Support. Who can help me when I encounter difficulties?

  • Reflection. How will I know whether I’ve improved?

Don’t choose an opportunity solely because it seems difficult. A worthwhile challenge should be meaningful and manageable, with appropriate guidance and resources.

Practical rule

Look for opportunities that stretch your abilities while allowing you to make a useful contribution.

5. Learn From What Actually Happens

Experience alone doesn’t guarantee learning.

Imagine you organize a school fundraiser. You raise $2,000, but volunteer recruitment is difficult, communication breaks down, and several tasks are completed at the last minute.

You might conclude: “The event was successful because we raised the money.”

That’s partly true. But if you stop there, you may miss valuable lessons.

The Four-Question Leadership Reflection

  • What happened? Describe the outcome and important events.

  • What did I contribute? Identify your specific actions and decisions.

  • What did I learn? Consider what worked, what didn’t, and why.

  • What will I do differently? Identify one change for next time.

For example: “Volunteer recruitment fell behind because we waited too long to assign responsibility. Next time, I’ll establish a recruitment target and checkpoint at the beginning of the project.”

That reflection turns a difficult experience into a practical lesson.

Reflection also matters when things go well. Ask what contributed to success so you can repeat it.

Practical rule

Don’t judge your leadership development only by whether a project succeeded. Examine what you did, what you learned, and how you’ll improve.

6. Make Leadership Development Intentional

High school offers many opportunities to develop leadership skills, but those opportunities don’t always arrive automatically. You may need to seek them out.

Suppose you’re a sophomore who wants to become more confident leading discussions. You don’t need to wait until you’re elected president.

You could:

  • Volunteer to lead one agenda item at your next club meeting.

  • Facilitate a small-group discussion.

  • Ask an experienced officer to help you prepare.

  • Request feedback afterward.

  • Gradually take on more responsibility.

Connect a skill you want to develop with a concrete opportunity to practice it.

A Simple Leadership Growth Cycle

  1. Choose a skill to develop.

  2. Find an opportunity to practice.

  3. Take responsibility and seek feedback.

  4. Reflect and choose your next challenge.

Your goals will change as you gain experience.

You might begin by learning to contribute to a team, then progress to leading projects, making difficult decisions, representing others, or developing younger students.

There’s no single correct sequence.

Practical rule

Don’t wait for leadership development to happen. Choose a skill, find an opportunity, practice, and reflect.

Choose the strongest response to each situation, then reveal the explanation.

1. Title or Responsibility?

You’re considering two opportunities. One offers a prestigious officer title but limited responsibilities. The other offers the chance to lead a challenging project with support from an advisor.

Your main goal is to develop project-management and teamwork skills.

Which is the strongest choice?

A. Choose the officer title because formal positions always provide the best leadership experience.

B. Choose whichever opportunity requires the least time so you can participate in more activities.

C. Choose the project because it provides direct opportunities to practice the skills you want to develop.

D. Avoid both opportunities until you’re more experienced.

APPLY YOUR JUDGMENT

2. Becoming More Inclusive

You want to become a more inclusive leader.

Which action would best help you develop that quality?

A. Tell club members that inclusion is one of your most important values.

B. Invite quieter and newer members to contribute ideas before important decisions, then consider their input seriously.

C. Ask your closest friends whether they think you’re inclusive.

D. Make all decisions yourself so nobody feels pressured to participate.

3. Learning From an Unsuccessful Event

You led a fundraiser that fell short of its financial goal. Your team worked hard, but several planning problems contributed to the result.

What’s the strongest way to use this experience for leadership development?

A. Avoid similar projects because the fundraiser wasn’t successful.

B. Focus on how hard everyone worked rather than examining what went wrong.

C. Blame the students who missed deadlines so you can move on.

D. Examine your own decisions, identify what contributed to the problems, seek feedback, and decide what you’d change next time.

4. Growing Without a Title

You’re a freshman interested in developing leadership skills, but officer elections won’t occur until next spring.

What’s the strongest approach?

A. Identify a skill you want to develop and volunteer for a manageable responsibility that lets you practice it now.

B. Wait until elections because leadership development requires formal authority.

C. Join as many clubs as possible, regardless of your responsibilities.

D. Focus entirely on learning leadership terminology before trying to lead.

Take Stock of Your Leadership Experiences

Which activities have you had an opportunity to practice—with or without a formal leadership title?

Note the experiences you’ve had on paper or in your own notes.

▢ Meetings — Prepared or led a discussion, helped reach a decision, or followed up afterward.

▢ Projects and events — Planned and carried out a project or event.

▢ Coordinating a team — Assigned responsibilities and helped others follow through.

▢ Money and resources — Managed a budget or made resource decisions.

▢ Representing others — Gathered and communicated other students’ perspectives.

▢ Goals and priorities — Helped decide what a group should accomplish.

▢ Problems and disagreements — Worked through a conflict, setback, or difficult choice.

▢ Developing other students — Taught a skill, coached someone, or helped prepare a successor.

This is not a leadership score. Use it to recognize what you’ve practiced and identify opportunities you’d like to explore.

Create Your Leadership Growth Plan

Choose one or two skills to focus on. Write your responses on paper or in your own notes.

  1. The kind of leader I want to become
    What qualities do I want to demonstrate through my actions?

  2. A leadership strength I already have
    When have I demonstrated this strength?

  3. Two leadership skills I want to develop
    What would I like to become better at doing?

  4. An experience that would help me practice
    What role, project, or manageable responsibility could help me grow?

  5. One step I’ll take in the next month
    What specifically will I do to get started?

  6. How I’ll know whether I’m improving
    What changes will I look for, and who could give me useful feedback?

  7. When I’ll review my progress
    Choose a date to reflect on what you’ve practiced and learned.

PUT IT INTO PRACTICE

Your next step

Choose one manageable leadership responsibility and take the first step this month. You don’t need to wait for a title to begin.

Next: Setting Goals That Matter →